Just make a fist and let go

Pep rally line up
Lol little football

Honestly, "same shit, different day" is the story of my life right now. All of the days blend together and I can't seem to keep track of time very well. My time of good luck seems to be off and on. One day I'm having the time of my life and then a few days later, it all goes to crap. Whatever. I'm trying to make the best of it but it seems that I can't control much of what happens.
Homecoming was last weekend and it was amazing. It was a long, tough week, but I survived. Hahah. Spirit week went really well, even though there was an underground week going on too. Here's a picture from Senior Citizen/ Baby Day:

Harrison, an old man with dementia, and Drew, an old, cripple
These guys are the BEST <3

The dance was pretty good. As always though, a guy made me upset there. It never fails... On the flip side, the morning before the dance was amazing. The guy I really like came over for a couple hours after film and we just chilled. It's nice being around him. He's so hilarious. I really wish we could date, but I know it wouldn't probably last through football. I'd get too pissed that we wouldn't be able to see each other much. Maybe once the season ends we can give it a go... I hope.

My crown - TD tradition

School is going well but God forbid it not be crazy. Boswell's class is kicking my butt. I'm so ready for this 9 weeks to be over. NOW. Even though I have a B, it's barely there... Haha. God help me.
Friends and I aren't getting along well. I'm just sort of keeping to myself. I'm just so tired of drama, lies, rumors, and bullcrap. I don't need it pulling me down again. I've finally moved past it all and I don't want it to follow me. It seems like everybody that can find a fault with me right now is doing so. I'm so tired of being put down about the small things. Some people need to put themselves in check and stop worrying about what other people do wrong. I'm not perfect, never will be, and never claim to be.
I'm going to visit UVA in a couple weeks. I'm so excited. I hope I really like it, considering I want to go there SO bad. My guidance counselor asked why I want to apply for only really hard schools. I was like, "They're all difficult? I have a 4.2 GPA. I think I'm good..." Hahah, forreal though.
Back to the guy thing, I can't seem to get him off my mind. I never thought I would ever feel this way about him. Honestly, I didn't know if I would ever like him at all. It's really strange though. I haven't felt this way about someone since Zack, in the terms of how much and why. It's like, I acknowledge his faults and downfalls, but I still care about him and love being around him. However, I don't think it's a good thing. I know he and I wouldn't last any long than high school and I don't want another huge disappointment. On top of it, I don't think he feels the same way... Which makes it worse.
I've been so tense lately. Between school, after school, drama, orchestra, and everything else, I'm slammed. I'm so done with useless people. 


I can't wait to leave all of this behind. Home is where the heart is and my heart isn't here anymore. I'm ready for a change again.


L M Butler


PS,
FOLLOW ME on Twitter! (: @LMButlerrrr - it's a link.

Honesty is the best policy

School has started and we hit the ground running. I had three papers due, three quizzes, and two tests, ALREADY. It's week two people! Stupid AP and honors classes. It's not too bad I guess, I'm just lazy. Senioritis has set in like crazy. However, I also noticed that CCPS gave us more days off this year. Which is pretty awesome. We also have this stupid thing called "Enrichment Period" instead of Friday Focus. I actually like it, a lottttt. It gives me forty-five minutes to do the homework I didn't complete the night before. Haha, yes I'm so over the whole school thing.
It is getting chilly here in the VA. Fall is approaching and it feels great. I love the Fall season. I feel so bad for countries that don't have more than one or two seasons.
So, about that guy and I. Yeah, it's too far gone. Somebody started rumors and they got to him. He flipped bananas on me and now refuses to notice I exist. Hah, really? I hate it when people automatically believe rumors and don't let the other person defend themselves. No, you don't have to believe me, but you at least owe me the chance to explain my side. If he was any type of good friend, in my opinion, he would. If not, nothing lost, eh? I can't believe it is only two weeks into the school year and bitches are already starting drama, mostly Seniors at that. Really? Grow up, forreal.
So far Dale has lost the first two games of the football season. The whole team is really down about it. Next Friday is the first home game, so hopefully that will go better. It's against Petersburg, so I doubt it honestly... There's going to be a pep rally before the game, too. So maybe that will boost the guy's confidence and help them win. I'm excited to go see them play. I think it will be a good, possibly close game. And I get to see Demetrick too.
I'm really looking forward to December. I not only get my license, but I also get my braces off. I'm so excited. I also take my SAT on December 3rd. That I'm not too hype about. On the other hand, I'm excited to apply for college this coming May.
College is another story. I'm still applying for Univer. of Mich. and UVA, but not for Aerospace Engineering. I've decided that getting a degree in Mechanical Engineering with a focus on Aerospace would get me farther in the long run. Then again, at this point, I would rather just go study something random, like Psychology. Then again, I would shoot myself is I were a therapist. I have enough problems of my own, and I don't want to listen to other people's for a living. Harsh? A little, maybe. At least I'm honest.


L M Butler

Mind made up

Wow, I feel like it's been forever since I've posted something. As always, I'm busy doing other things and I don't get a chance to log on to my computer. Oh well, whatever. Here's what's been up...
At the end of June I went to a Leadership Institute thingy-ma-jig. It's basically a three day camp where you learn how to become an even better leader. It was such a joke. The first and third day were a lot of fun, but the second day was awful. We had to sit from 9a. until 5p. listening to two stupid people talk about discrimination and core values. I just wanted to fall asleep. So, I put my shades on and closed my eyes. Hah. Terrible, I know. However, it was so boring that I wanted to beat my head on the floor. Thank God I had had my morning coffee. That bad - really. I kid you not.
I've started working again at the summer school program at Marguerite Christian again. This year it's second graders. They listen OK, but some have awful attitudes. Most of them can't even spell their name, and they are going into the third grade. That is just sad... Very sad. Dealing with kids that can not even write a complete sentence - and are supposed to be able to- is so very difficult. It is so stressful.
It has been raining like crazy here the past few days. My yard is flooded and several trees have fallen down. I love the rain, but not when it is trying to kill me. Ya know?
The other night, I went to River's Bend Grill with my mom. We had the cutest waiter ever. So was tall, handsome, had sexy facial hair, great built body - the works. Mom and I decided to play "The Waiter Game". It's where we try to guess how old the waiter is and see if they are material I would be interested in. Mother guessed 22 and I guessed 24. When I finally asked him his age, he said 27. He looked so much younger and I was really disappointed. Before I walked out, he turned around and I asked me how old I was. I asked him, "Well, how old do you think I am?" He said, "21?", in a 'please' tone. Hahah. You wish, man.
Here lately I have been on this sushi frenzy. That's all I've been eating for almost every meal. It's crazy. I'm not complaining though because doing so has caused me to lose 10 lbs. Hah. Which is quite awesome.
My friend Dale left for Basic Training yesterday. I wish him the best. I am going to miss him so much. I know he will be great. He's the best. Also, my "best friend" leaves in about a month and same goes for him. I hope they both do well and enjoy the lives ahead of them. Sadly, I don't know that I'll keep in touch with either of them.
The London 2012 trip has been cancelled. I'm so devastated. It sucks monkey nuts. Major monkey nuts. I was really looking forward to going on that amazing trip, but now it's ruined. Awesome... Just fucking fantastic.
I've decided that I'm going to do the early application for the University of Michigan. I am so so so so excited. I really hope that I get a scholarship for the Aerospace Engineering program or something. That would be amazing. However, if all else fails, I will apply for the University of Virginia. I would be content with that too. I would prefer to go to U of M though... I'm really looking forward to going to college, even though I sort of like high school. This coming year is going to be the greatest. All of the classes I'm taking are going to be pretty cool and all of the clubs I'm an officer in are going to be tons of fun.
My birthday is coming up and I have no idea what to do. I want a party, but everything I want is way too expensive. We just can't afford it. Honestly, even if I had one, I don't think many people would come. My friends are assholes sometimes.
Speaking of friends, my best friend Kelsey and I pretty much gave up on our friendship the other night. We have been best friends since the fifth grade. I love her to death and she's like a sister to me. We have always had each other's backs and always hang out. Sadly, we have kind of developed different ideas on totally opposite spectrums and it just doesn't meet in the middle anymore. Over the years, her and I both have grown up and grown out of old habits and styles. Our personalities haven't changed, but our mind sets have. We have seriously different goals and it just came down to the fact that we have grown out of each other. Get what I mean? Time just withered our friendship away. It upsets me a lot to not be friends with her anymore, just because we were so close. On the other hand, it's good to be moving on with my life and her moving on with hers.
I got to thinking the other day, and I noticed I have not really "dated" someone in a while. Yeeeaahhh, there is "best friend", but that's getting old and he is leaving anyway. A guy and I have been talking and we both are at the point of where we want to be referred to as an item. However, my mom doesn't like the idea - at all. All because of one thing. He's not white. My parents are not racist or anything, and I certainly am not. OK, yeah I make a joke here and there, but I don't discriminate against anyone because they are not white. Whatever. In the end, it's my decision.


This summer has been going pretty swell. All I need, is a trip.


L M Butler

Bro, she's a hoe

Last day in English with Mrs. Holdell

You know, here lately I haven't wanted to get on the computer very much. Probably because I've been spending all-nighters and crap because of school. I feel like I've been neglecting my blog. Hah. Oh well, it's summertime now. Bring it on.
Graduation is done and over with. Congratulations to the TDHS class of 2011. I didn't cry at all, unlike last year. (But we all know why that was) I even surprised myself. Hah. Everyone in the orchestra whooped for Dale B. He looked so spiffy. And my best friend looked amazing. I couldn't be happier for him. I hope he enjoys what is in store for him. I know he'll be great.
I'm finally done with school, for now. My exams were beyond easy. I don;t know why I fretted them. Hah, however this summer is going to be crazy. I'm teaching again, but this year it's second graders. God, please help me. Hah. I also have to start all of my grant and scholarship applications. First two on the list, University of Virginia and University of Michigan. I'm hype, but a little scared.
Other interesting things right now are... I have poison ivy again. Again! I hate this crap with a passion. I just want to torch it all. Also, I have a date tomorrow night. I really don't want to go but I feel like it would be mean to stand him up. I'm too nice sometimes. Ya know? Whatever. I'll probably just tell him I'm sick or something then block his number. HAH! Sorry, brah. That's mean, I know. However, I really don't care. I'm really not interested in dating anyone right now. After the last two guys, I don't want another break up like that. I'd rather just have a friend with a little something more. Hah. I know you're probably thinking, "Wow, man. She's a hoe." But no, I'm not. You and your little naughty school girl fantasies need to get a room.
I want next summer to hurry up and be here already. I can't wait to go to London for the Olympics. Hell, I'm not even having a sweet 16 party this year because of the cost of the trip. Oh well. Beggars can't be choosers. I haven't had a party in forever though, so I guess it doesn't matter. What I really want to do, is go to Longstreet's with a few friends for dinner. That'd be even better. 


So, here lately I've been addicted to Twitter. You twiggas out there should follow me - DanceInTeRain
:)


L M Butler